Don't Burn The Messenger

Shopping season is upon us and there are an infinite amount of new gadgets and gizmos to satisfy even the prudest tastes. It seems in these uber connected, check your cell every 2 minutes day and age messages and suggestive advertising can be found all around us... Well how about even in your breakfast. That's right, some breakfast savant conjured up a toaster that you can literally write messages on and then the contraption transfers that message on to your wheat toast dry with strawberry jam on the side. Just think of the possibilities... you could tell that cheap ass roommate of yours to stop leaving his crispy finger nail clippings all over the bathroom counter. Or remind that special someone that last night in the jacuzzi the thing she did with her elbow felt great or remind her that this morning was even hotter but never to put her finger in there again or she'll lose it. Ok, so we've established that the possibilities are endless only limited by... well by nothing, you could even draw something on your toast. I look forward to the day when a manager can walk into sales person's cubicle and instead of a pink slip they receive a slice of 10 grain with "You're Shit Canned" on it. That way the unlucky peon can enjoy a tasty snack as he or she is escorted out of the building by security. Don't forget your stapler, it's a Swingline!

It appears this message making influenza is not limited to breakfast fare and has spread to plants. This holiday season you can nab yourself a plant as a gift that has a short phrase laser etched into its ungerminated seed. When the plant grows and eventually flowers the message can be read large and in charge on the side of the sepal or base of the flower in general speak. This will, with no doubt in my mind make your mom or lady friend start crying with joyous love especially if you pick up the plant pictured below.
Stay thirsty my friends,
.Stinky Britches.

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