You probably don't realize it but a mustache is a very powerful thing. The good folks at the Atlantic have taken it to another level and have said that mustaches have influenced and even changed the world. Just like the people that wear them, a stache can be good and a stache can be bad. Some can be dirty but most are fucking hilarious. The only staches that aren't funny are the ones on women. You see that bristly lip sweater glistening in the sunlight hugging their upper lip, it's like boner kryptonite!
Have a look at the mustaches and the people that they're attached to that made the Atlantic's list of "20 Mustaches That changed History".
Mustaches don't come without dangers and the American Mustache Institute (A site I highly recommend you visit and explore, there is hilariousness at every click) provides a mustachio disclaimer:
AMI supports healthy, performance enhancing-free mustaches that contain no pesticides. Mustaches should be worn at the individuals own risk, and AMI is not responsible for mustaches that make men look like child molesters or Dave Navarro. Wearing a "Dictator" mustache may lead to repeated beatings. Mustaches should not be worn by women who hope to find employment outside of waste collection or who are looking for male companionship. If your mustache causes you to have an erection for more than four hours, seek immediate attention from a doctor, spouse, girlfriend, or Dave Navarro. In extremely rare cases, mustaches may cause significant decreases in sexual activity, friendships, and approval by society at large. Unibrows, commonly referred to as "forehead mustaches," are not recognized by AMI. AMI does not support chin coverage (i.e. beards, goatees) as they represent the "spousal compromise." The vast majority of mustache wearers have highly positive responses from friends, exotic dancers and grade school teachers. AMI strongly encourages consulting a physician before exploring your personal mustache capabilities, as premature mustache growth may lead to feelings of despair and depression. AMI cautions against trusting clean-shaven officers of the law. If a mustache-free constable attempts to stop your vehicle, dial 911 and proceed to the nearest police station, where a squadron of heavily mustached officers will greet you with open arms. Please consider the environment before shaving your mustache.
Free Mustache Rides,
.Stinky Britches.
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